{thIS is My BrOKEn DreAM whERe U ArE thE stAr.

Monday, January 18, 2010

9:55 AM

it has been a long time since i have updated my blog. well. there are nothing much that is happening in my life rite now. there are somethings but nothing to strike the sad and angry hormones.

haha..

oh well.

i think.. i think and everything is finally going well. i hope. even though there are times when you have a certain flashback but it doesnt affect me that much animore. this is a time for change. a time to at last say that i can smile even though sumthing somewhere inside me is still hurt..

but i thin kand i know that i have to move on.. on from that alod me that is so sad.. i really dun wan.. haha...

this is tym for a change. a change for me.. a change for this boy to become that old him. the him that smile and laugh.. and i hope people out there will give me the strenght.

but if i were to go before i can change. i hope people out there will remember me for who i am and not what i have become...

thank you
and
love 2010..

IREN D

Friday, November 6, 2009

There need to be a change..

6:47 PM

there need to be a change right here right now.
there need to be a revolution.
sumone must stand out frm many
and say
WE NEED TO CHANGE

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

7:36 PM

never try to understand me

you will never do so

never say u know me

you never will

It has been a long tym

7:25 PM

it has been a long tym since i write on this blog. well. not that there are nth happening in my life.. there are.. but.. i just dun have the strenght to bring up my hands and press those keys on the keyboards. i dun have the strenght animore.. to be sad. to cry.. to be depress... i dun want to do all that animore. this is a new beginning in my life. i wanna to forgot all the thing that are there to make me sad.. all those shit that i have done in the past.. well. i guess love is nothing more in this small world of mine. love.. it makes u do toones of things that u will look back and say laugh at what u did. well lets just put that one side.. nth much for me to tok about there..

lets tok about now.. hmm,.. im trying my best to change. this is what i m doin. but i duno wether it is possible for me to chnage hu i realli am. to chnage hu i was to born to be. when i look at you, God, i say to myself that i will make ytou look back one day and regret all those things you said to me. i just wannt this wh9ole bloody thing to chgnae. i wan the ball to roll back and lets see what happen. but i just cant. its just in my nature to not let thing get over all my feelings. but not to worry.. though the sky may seem high,... human are still able to get to it.. those the deep see rumble with angry, no fishermen fear it..

i say God has been wif me all my life.. i i pray he will be wif you too.. coz happiness does not lie in revenge or vengance. it lies in forgiveness.

i know that this post is abit choppy and confusing.. try not to guess if u duno.. coz u will just be crazy...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

5:14 PM

"White Flag"

I know you think that

I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

by DIDO

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

4:32 PM

im confused, sad, disappointed and alot more. all this felling are so jumbled up, so mixed that i do not kno what to feel and how to react. how to i overcome this feeling. why do i feel so empty inside now. why do i feel that something is missing from this pathetic life of mine. i duno know how, how to safe my from this feeling. i wan to get out of this. i wan to pretend it had never happen but i cant. i try my best to make as though that this had never happen but it can never be. u are never the same. but how can i change this i never know. i never know. i wish i prayed and i hiope for something to happen. just something. aniting that i can smile to aniting at all. but i know it can never be. it can never be.. i told myself once before. i will never mess ur life again. but i just can live wifout u near. to you im always okay.. i smile whereever i am. but most do not know. i cry in my heart. my tear are hidden from the eyes of many. onli those that realli know me. to you my tear maybe fake it maybe be nothing. coz u had nothing to loss. but i want you to know that the tear that i shed are my most sincere tear. and i lost everthing when i let you go. every single day i remembered what we used to be. i wish and i hope that we can be that way. but onli the future holds that secrect. on the 13 may of this month. i cry.. i cried my lung out coz i know that thing can never change. thing are as the way it is now. 13 may used to be the most happiest day ever. it used to be my whole life. but now its nothing. but i know deep down inside me... i rather shed my tear then shed your. none of your tears shall reach the ground coz i will, at my best, try to protect it. i know.. for i had ponder and think .. that
if love was to let go... then i ll you go.. ill let you go.. but make me your friend...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

9:51 PM

why is tis feeling so overpowering
why am i so stupid so weak to let it go
why does love hurt so badly that i feel i no longer wanna live
u know sometime.. i just wan things to b the way it used to b 6 mth ago.. but it seems lik it will never happen that way.. i do so many thing to tell poeple that i care for them. i try to help. i try to giv them supoort for the back. but afetr month of doin so. i jus feel so used rite now. u know.. day lik this.. i jus wanna tok to u. i just need u to show u care and concern lik u did. or at least just chat to me. not as sumbody special.. i dun care about that animore. i just need u there as a fren. but u never did so.. u know.. u are so cold toward me now. u never used to say that U DUN CARE.. u never used to bring me down to my lowliest wif ur werds. but why are u doin such now. why? just tell me. u know that it hurts. i cried everyday for the pass 2 weeks. i know no one know... onli god know the tear that i have shed and the prayer i have said to make everything change to the way it was. but i know.. even till death nothing will change. coz to u. u never change.. maybe towards others u didnt change. maybe its just towards me. but WHY?? maybe its all just to take revenge on wat i have did before. maybe u jus wanna see me cry and break down. just tell me why....

i told myslef. even if the world change.. i would not shed another tear for sumbody... but im doin so even now.. my heart hurt so badly... that tear drop for every letter that i wrote here... why will tis stop.. when...